So the very first post in my blog would revolve on “self confidence”/”body acceptance”. (Pardon me for being a little narcissist on this post -it contains my pictures from my birthday photoshoot themed: “Sayonara 24.”)
I had a writer’s block for which topic I would first write about, ideas zooming and popping in my head like crazy, so I decided to ask within my circle of friends on which topic to discuss. And the winner/s goes to….
Self confidence and body [self] acceptance. (Yes, a tie!)
But then, come to think of it: they are interrelated. You gain self confidence once you have self-acceptance and you would tend to accept yourself more with more confidence you gain. They are part of a whole which should be within you!
For the past years, the media -whether in print, television and even radio- could be considered first when it comes to influencing a person’s preference. Like how many view various artists as perfect role models both as to the way they look and as to how they behave and act.
How much the media influence affects an individual’s life depends on person to person. Thing is, from what I observed, many get influenced in a somehow negative, dreamy-fairy tale-like state that to be beautiful and cool, one must be fair, have porcelain-like skin, thin (like crazy bone thin -honestly), have long silky-straight locks, et cetera.
Sure, media celebrities may in fact be considered “vavavoom” gorgeous -depending on a person’s preference, I’ve seen some of them personally and some are a complete head turner, some completely normal looking. The point is they are humans like us, not Gods and demigods like Aphrodite and Adonis, and humans are perfectly imperfect!
Let us accept the fact that one really cannot have it all, we are all flawed which makes us unique and interesting. Sure many would say things to us, to do this and that because it is more desirable- to them at least. Many would pressure us to become a person who would fit their preference, someone who they could categorize belonging within their “normal” range.
But if you think about it, who is it (really) that set categories on how one could be considered beautiful, normal, healthy (aesthetically)? Is it me, is it you, is it them? We all have preferences that could have been influenced by the environment we were brought up, from what we were taught, etc. Preferences that could also vary widely from person to person.
Here is a question, would you gain self-confidence and self-worth in trying to fit in another human being’s idea of aesthetically normal?
Being a Catholic, I was taught that every human being is created through the image and likeness of our Heavenly Father, our Creator. And because of that, we are all uniquely beautiful, WE ARE ALL BORN BEAUTIFUL.
God created you through His image and likeness, who are other people to judge you based on the way you look? Who are we to judge somebody based on their appearance?
I remember one time, talking to an HR representative while I was applying for a job position, she asked me: What is your idea of a healthy person? I remember I replied without batting an eyelash, “I believe people should not judge whether a person is healthy or not based on the weighing scale and how they look. Being extra blessed is fine as long as the person feels healthy. Why make yourself unhealthy through depression by listening to someone’s opinion of you, aesthetically, while in fact they don’t know your circumstances, your capabilities, what you can offer and contribute to the company? If you ask me, I am completely healthy.”
There was also another time when I was talking to a superior, if I remember correctly it was an interview/introducing one to each other sort of conversation. I remember her lines, leading to how she thinks that overweight and “fat people” (from her own words) do not have self-discipline because of this and that. Sorry, I can no longer remember the exact details but I remember that I did not engage into that flow of conversation, shrugging it off and telling myself: Okay, relax. It is her opinion, respect it.
I will no longer rant on it and leave it at that. But never did those derogatory marks leave me feeling worthless. Instead, it became my inspiration to work hard, constantly reminding myself that I have a lot to prove, that one way or another they would recognize my worth even though I do not conform to their standard norms. It was an egoistic, ambitious type of self confidence -to prove to them that I am right and they are wrong.
A lot happened after that, I have to leave my first job. I also went through minor depression after that due to some circumstances, I completely lost my self confidence, my self trust. I found refuge through reading the Holy Scriptures, doing a lot of random things, spent sometime self-searching. What is it that I really wanted to do? What is the thing I want to accomplish? I never had troubles doing new things… I was in fact, jack of all traits. But I get bored easily, whether it be sports, studies, and other areas, as long as I become aware that I could do it and I could excel on it, l get bored.
I was jobless and directionless when I got really into baking. it was like an outlet, I became inspired again everytime I ace a recipe and got curious on what went wrong whenever it turned out bad (the funny thing is that, no one knew how many times I failed. You see in baking, you could literally hide the evidence of your failure… in your stomach!) 🙂
Then I decided to change life path: from Chemical Engineer to a Baker and now a Pastry Chef, an Entrepreneur, and a Freelance Plus-size model. I got formal lessons in Baking and Pastry Arts in an institution, I believe is the best: The Heny Sison Culinary School. I met a lot of new people, I got fresh perspective in life. I did something that when I was younger I never thought I would even have interest in trying to do, enter the fashion world and try to become a plus size model. There my creativity flourished, my personality changed, I became more sociable, more friendly.
What made me realize a successful switch and such achievements in just a year? It is boosted true self confidence through self acceptance. Being sure not mistake ego to self confidence ever again. Self acceptance that whether or not people would get impressed by me, I am aware that God loves me and that it is to Him I offer everything I do, everything I want to accomplish. It is not them whom I want to please but it is my Heavenly Father.
Knowing that my Heavenly Father loves me, I am complete and that I no longer need to be bounded by what my fellow human beings think of me… BECAUSE IN THE EYES OF MY CREATOR, I AM PERFECTLY IMPERFECT, BECAUSE IN HIS EYES, I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM SEXY AND I KNOW IT!
So next time people would make you feel down and tell you hurtful things, just smile to them! Become constantly aware the God loves you the way you are, accept and embrace yourself for that fact, and from there gain confidence that no matter what you are beautiful in His eyes! Until post, God bless!
-Atser Carev
Passionate Indulgence 
Wonderful!!! Well said! 😉 “Crazy-Bone-Thin” — hahaha — I just love the way you say it! 😉 Cheers to more posts… Good job and Congratulations — for discovering and accepting YOU! and YES! You are beautiful! You are sexy! AND WE KNOW IT!!! It does show!
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it! ^_^